In May, she ran Propel, a week-long “app-only training program” for 128 people for $480 a person, and she’s gearing up to launch a dating class. the other larger, longer in the fall. Sometimes, she hits faster; in 2021, she offers a one-on-one, 90-minute “decision-making conversation”. People call her to ask if they should propose, if their boyfriend’s libido is coming back, if there is an acceptable way to end the relationship because of the problems. partner’s mental health. She also does some professional training, usually weekly.
Kimberly Baudhuin, 26, who left her consulting job at Bain to become Miss Ury’s full-time assistant, said in a phone interview that before meeting Ms Ury, she felt let down. in front of a crowd of podcasters and influencers and TikTokers claiming to hold the secret of modern-day dating. To Miss Ury, she said, “It’s a tactic. It’s step by step. ”
Ms. Ury told me about a client who went through countless first dates and failed to make a second date. His sense of humor was not found in the women he hung out with, so she helped him tell a story about a summer he spent in college while working in a sausage truck. “It’s not like I said he lied about his height, lied about his age,” she said.
She always refers to her gift as “pattern recognition,” the ability to see and aggregate information in someone’s dating history. To that end, she asks her clients to complete a “relationship check,” which specifically lists who they’ve dated, how they met each one, and why their relationship came to be. finished, for Miss Ury to judge. A 35-year-old woman who took Ms. Ury’s class last year said the exercise took her six hours. Ms. Ury’s comments indicate that she tends to date people with “big personalities”.
“I don’t present myself as a guru,” Ms. Ury said. “I tell people: I’m going to create a system that helps you work through your blind spots and change your mind.”
We talked in Blueberry, a purple building with Radish’s kitchen, and Miss Ury was floating like an ant. We went for a walk; she took me on a tour through Oakland streets lined with crop-share signs, while cradling a mug of black coffee that read “Think NEVER AFTER”. Her Crocs made small squeaks on the pavement.
I asked her if she was surprised how much effort her clients put into turning their stories and jokes, their work and their exes’ childhoods into delicious packages. She laughed.
“Dating is a matter of urgency,” she said. “If you’re single and you want to find someone, you’ll do a lot to fix that.”