“We have a really strong incentive to treat anxiety as if it were a problem of its own – like, ‘I don’t want to worry, how do I get rid of it?’ And I think that’s really harmful,” says Dr. Fisher. Anxiety can be a great teacher when you lean into the feeling, he says, and “really listen to it.”
To cut back, remember the hangover feeling.
One question I’ve (of course) asked the experts is if there’s a way to drink alcohol and somehow avoid the next day’s fatigue. The answer I get is pretty much “no”, but Dr. Vora reminds me that eating a healthy meal before drinking and staying hydrated helps – she suggests alternating alcohol with non-alcoholic beverages.
However, these fixes will only do so much, so if you feel nauseous after a few cocktails, the obvious solution is to quit drinking. But that’s easier said than done, and sometimes the “stop” message can backfire, Dr. Brewer said. People who have trouble eating cold turkey may feel ashamed of themselves and wonder if something is wrong with them, he says, which makes change even more difficult.
Another problem is that people often convince themselves that drinking is not the cause of their trouble in the morning. “It’s easy for our brains to say, ‘Oh, no, that’s not alcohol. You can continue to drink. It was something else,” he explained. When his patients want to stop drinking, Dr. Brewer recommends focusing on how they feel the morning after drinking and comparing how they feel after the nights they don’t drink. In doing so, they can more easily identify cause-and-effect relationships and decide that drinking is not worth it.
“They see that it’s not a rewarding thing, and that’s what helps them change,” he says.
That’s not to say that occasional drinking is the worst thing in the world, but if it makes you miserable the next day, it’s not a bad idea to weigh the benefits of shrinking. . I would still have a few glasses of wine at social gatherings, but on other nights I would remind myself how much better I would feel the next day if I drank seltzer instead. .
Key tips for making new friends
In her new book “Platonic: The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – Friends,” psychologist Marisa Franco argues that despite what we might assume, most Most people are open to new friendships, especially at certain times in their lives. But you have to put yourself out there, she says, to make meaningful connections.